It's Official

Jonathan wants to keep a journal of our adoption process. So right now I have a reason to be on the computer at 10:00 p.m.

Today we printed the paperwork that goes along with our fingerprints and criminal history report. This is the first step in the home study process. Jonathan was taken aback when we had to pay $51.25 EACH to have this done. I said, "That's just one of the many expenses that make up the $28,000."

For now we will be using Lifeline Children's Services as our agency for Bulgaria. We can change our minds up until the end of our home study. It has been so difficult for us to decide on a country. There are so many factors such as, age of children referred, time in country, quantity of trips, oh and don't forget COST! Jonathan really wants to adopt from Uganda. And I did too at one point. We were all ready to adopt 1 boy and 1 girl, then I started having doubts. See, we weren't comfortable with having 1 African child. Years down the road, they are probably going to realize they are different and they will possible feel alone. We would hope that's not the case, but it's possible. We thought it would be in the best interest of the child to have an African sibling. It's much easier (in theory) to adopt 2 children at once rather than go through the whole process again later. Besides, it only adds a couple thousand dollars to the cost. However, we aren't sure it is in the best interest of the mom (me) to bring 2 children into our home at once! And who knows if we'll be able to come up with another $25K to adopt a second child in a few more years? So I want to take the "easy" road and adopt one lighter skinned child and be done.

I feel weird for even saying all this. I hate referring to my possible future children as "African" and "lighter skinned", but I do want to be candid on this blog and hopefully talk about things that others may be feeling. These are real thoughts and concerns and I hope this will help others open up and talk about their adoption concerns.

So anyway... hopefully tomorrow we will make it to the police station to have our fingerprints done.