Anticipating

I am assuming Joseph's mother has appeared in court by now. I am anxously waiting to hear how it went. My heart aches for her, but I would be lying if I said I won't be sad if she decided not to give him up. I tried to guard my heart until it was official. However, a week ago while I was sitting in church, one of the recent photos we recieved of him popped up in my mind. I smiled inside at how healthy he looked. He appears to be kind of stocky. I then pictured him as a football player. At that moment, I fell in love. It had nothing to do with football. I don't even like football. I never want my boys to play the dangerous sport. It was just imagining him developing his own personality and his own interests. No doubt that whatever activitiy my kids decide to pursue, I will be there watching even if it's something as boring as dangerous as football, as boring as baseball, or as ear piercing as a saxophone (my least favorite instrument). I have already seen that in our daughter. She is not creative like me. She is scientific and mathematical and I love that about her. Because it's her. And I will love things about Joseph even if they aren't my favorite things.